Mr Uzumaki's Dragon Maid
by Ignisha
Summary: It's been over millennia and Naruto's still getting surprised. For example, a dragon dropping down and asking to be his maid? Like, seriously? Title pending.
1. A1 C1: Introduction

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

* * *

Chapter One: Introduction (Which is Quite Troublesome)

* * *

Hi everyone.

Uzumaki Naruto here.

Other people call me Uzumaki, or Fishcake, or Nathaniel, or Nicolas, or Menma, or Blondie, or Hokage-sama, or even just plain ole' Naruto.

Yeah, I went by a lot of names after the number of years I've lived on this planet.

Gets kinda boring after a while – I think I lost count after two-thousand-and-five-hundred years – but that's what you get for being an immortal supernatural ninja badass who was only trying to save the world and all that.

Right, so if it wasn't so clear before, I am the same Uzumaki Naruto from the time and era of Ninjas and Samurais and super powerful humans who can spew fire from their mouths.

The very one.

Now see here, I may be immortal, but I'm still human.

I think.

Speaking of immortal, you may be wondering just how I got my immortality, right?

Eheheh, funny story, actually. To be honest, I wasn't exactly trying to get this immortality, but life just apparently enjoys fucking me in the face.

And not the pussy-licking or sixty-nine-ing kind of fucking me in the face.

But the kind where you find out that the she was actually a _he_ and a dick suddenly whacks you in the face kind of fucking me in the face.

No homo by the way.

 _Anyway_ , the circumstance that led me to my immortality was kind of fucked up, and by all means wasn't an intentional one either. In fact, it's the kind where you just got no choice but to take it, ya know? Kinda like how Arthur was a girl instead, but she just had to grab the sword in the stone 'cause it was her destiny and shit, and had to masquerade as a _guy_ for how many years?

Yeesh.

Poor girl.

So yeah, as I was saying. What lead me to what I am now is complicated.

Like, _really_ complicated.

So complicated, in fact that I just don't wanna tell ya.

Seriously though, I don't wanna tell ya.

I don't.

Ah, but what led me to just talk to you folks all of a sudden during this bright sunny day with no clouds whatsoever?

Well-…

"Uzumaki-san, dinner's ready!"

Turning around, I took a look at my fellow blond maid who was cooking dinner for us and my other housemate. With horns sticking out of the side of her head and a big fat reptilian tail falling out of her rum (Please don't tell her I said that, she'll cry the entire day and try to make me eat it! Gross! I've had reptilian tail before, and let me tell you: disgusting!) as if she was cosplaying some sort of cosplay of some shit.

With yellow and red central heterochromia eyes – those are the kind where the eyes are dual colored rather than two separate eyes being different colored, by the way – and a bubbly smile on her face, the girl cheered as red smoke emitted from the pot. Which is worrisome, I have to add.

By the way, her face isn't the only thing that's bubbly.

Just sayin'.

The girl lifted the pot of smoking food.

"Today we're having porridge!"

"Alright, be right there…"

Replying back the usual way I do, I nudged at the little ball of electric doom that rested her head on my lap.

"Kanna-chan, time to eat."

Opening her blue eyes, the violet-head yawned cutely – I swear I keep seeing floating hearts and bubbles every time she does something cute and adorable – and sniffed the air.

"Ooh. Tohru-sama, is that the super duper lava crunchy porridge of horrible explosion?"

Who the fuck makes up these kinds of names?

Seriously! And I thought my dad was bad at naming stuff!

My fellow blonde nodded happily and said, "Yup! With just a little bit a spice so to not make it too spicy for you, Kanna-chan!"

Nodding, the adorable little girl hopped off of my lap and couch and headed for the dining table.

Sighing to myself, I stood up and walked towards the dining table, stepping over the wagging tails of the two dragons next to me.

… What?

Oh right!

Recently, I got visited by dragons from another dimension! How surprising is that!?

I mean, after being subjugated into war, the end of the world being neigh, some evil god tree or whatever threatening to end all human race and two maniacs hell bent on ruling the entire world… not to mention a super-hot goddess who will stop at nothing but to enslave all of humanity, you'd think I'd be used to this kind of shit.

But nope.

For the first time in a 1000 years or so, I got the biggest surprise in my life.

Dragons.

Motherfucking dragons.

And to make it even more surprising, one dragon is actually in love with me!

How crazy is that!?

I mean, sure I'm like this super handsome, all-powerful, ramen-loving, and charismatic sort of guy and shit and can attract all kinds of girls towards me with just a sigh and is like, super good in bed, but to get a dragon to fall for me?

That's… that's like a new record, ain't it?

Anyway, I'm getting off track, so let me get back on it while I eat this super suspicious, bubbling red porridge of doom.

Sigh, takes me back to the good ole' days with the Curry of Life…

So as I'm trying to drink ice cold water to cool my tongue, let me get to how I met these two lovely dragons from another dimension with the power to wipe out humanity in like, a few days I think.

Let me see…

I think it was on a normal, cloudless, sunny day…

A Thursday, I think…

Oh, by the way, this _might_ be the last time I'll be talking in first person. The rest of the story _might_ be in third person, but who knows? The author of this story has many stuff to think about, what with his other stories and such.

The title of this story is also under works right now, so please, bear with it.

Either way, let's rewind back to a couple weeks back, shall we?

* * *

No scheduled updates for this story.  
Will be updating as I feel like it.

Also, first ever _Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon_ crossover!


	2. A1 C2: The Dragon in the Forest

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

* * *

Chapter Two: The Dragon in the Middle of the Forest (Which is Quite Shocking)

* * *

Right.

Sorry everyone, I lied in the previous chapter.

I'm gonna continue on in first-person view for a bit longer, so please bear with me.

Anyway, where was I…? Oh right, I was telling you how I met Tohru, wasn't I?

Well, funny story about that…

* * *

"Dragon…"

It was on a normal, cloudless, sunny Thursday when I first met the dragon whose name was Tohru.

After work at my publication company, I decided to head for the mountains for quick training. Cause, y'know, for nostalgic reasons.

It was there that I found a wounded dragon with a large-ass sword stabbed onto its back. Its wings were slightly torn, and some of its scales and talons were torn off. It looked like it just recently escaped battle, which was strange.

After all, what human, animal, creatures on this planet at this day and age have that kind of power to injure such a majestic and mystical creature as a dragon?

…

Right, nuclear power and the like…

Carefully, and _very_ carefully I might add, I tiptoed towards the dragon. It wasn't until I was merely three meters away from the powerful creature that I somehow stepped on twig.

Curse my carelessness and neglect to train! Centuries of not fighting – or rather, fighting humans that can actually fight – has dulled my senses and battle skills to their absolute lowest.

Ok, well not absolute lowest, but rather, to the point where I forget even the simplest of things. Like checking to see if there were any loose twigs lying around!

Cue the throbbing of blood veins.

Anyway, looks like I was pretty loud cause as soon as I stepped on the goddamn twig, the dragon immediately twitched. Opening its yellow and red central heterochromia eyes – the kind where both eyes have dual colors rather than both eyes having different colors – its attention immediately centered at me.

Whoops.

The dragon tensed and struggled to get on its feet. Failing to do so, it instead landed back on its tummy and tried it best to intimidate me.

Hah.

In fact, it's even growling and showing its bright shiny teeth where I can find a few bacteria and ripped meat in-between.

How cute~

Regardless of the dragon's pathetic attempt to intimidate me, I – now that my cover's been blown, curse you twig! – nonchalantly walked towards the dragon. Sticking my foot up, I set it upon the dragon's hide.

Immediately, the dragon – whose head has been following – roared at me, a burning sensation about to cover me.

Quickly jumping back, I watched as a column of flames missed me by a mere margin.

"Oooh, you don't see that everyday anymore…"

Quietly, I watched as the fireball continued before landing in the middle of the nowhere within the forest, exploding and quickly catching on fire. Watching the flames burn up the forest, I quietly murmured, "I'm not cleaning that up…"

That being said, I'm sort of glad that raining season will arrive soon.

Turning around, I quickly whacked the dragon in its nostrils. Jerking back, the dragon looked confused as I quickly berated, "No. Bad dragon. No just burning up the forest. The entire ecosystem'll be destroyed if you keep firing those super awesome blasts."

Not intimidated by the slightest (something I'd congratulate it for in the near future), the dragon simply opened its mouth to burn me again.

Being the kind of guy to not watch as nature is destroyed (again), I simply raced to the super awesome giant sword thing and quickly grabbed it.

The sudden movement must've hurt a lot, cause the dragon suddenly began crying. What a weeb.

Regardless, griping onto the super awesome sword as tightly as I could, I quickly lodged it out of the dragon's hide, forcing out a howl from the dragon.

"Ah, prepare yourself," I said sarcastically.

"OWWWWWWW"

Okay… what?

"That _hurt_! You jerk, why did you do that!? Jerk! Meanie! Stupid! Baldy! JERK!"

Hey, hey, hey, you just called me "jerk" three times…

And did you just call this glorious, shiny, soft-yet-firm, blonde hair, _bald_?

"So you _can_ talk."

"Of course I can talk, stupid human! Jerk!"

Enough with the "jerk" thing already…

"Anyway, just hold still," I replied back, taking a closer look at the sword wound. Ignoring the dragon asking for what I was doing on its back, I simply hummed and took out a bottle of liquor. If my memory of the biology of reptiles were right, then…

"OW! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"Stop struggling."

"You're _hurting_ me! Again!"

"Relax, it's just a disinfectant…"

"You're pouring rum on me!"

Huh, so dragons know human drinks. That's good to know. Regardless, I continued to pour a good amount of liquor onto the wound. Looking back up to the dragon as it – she, if the voice isn't to be mistaken – was distracted by the pain, I quickly searched for her chakra, matched it with mine, and began to insert some of my chakra into hers.

The yellow bubble that was unique to my chakra slowly began to cover the wound, quickly melding the flesh back together and mending whatever scar was present, leaving no evidence of the wound.

Sighing, I grabbed the super badass sword and jumped back down onto sweet mother earth. Stabbing the sword onto the ground, I sat indian-style and asked, "So what's your name?"

"Hmph! I don't feel like telling you!"

Hey, hey, hey now. Is that how you thank your one and only savior with badass looks and glorious blonde hair that isn't bald?

"How'd you get here?" I decided to move on.

"Not telling you~"

What is this, 20 Questions or something? Gazing at the large awesome sword stabbed next to me, I guessed, "Did you get attacked?"

Silence.

Sweet, sweet silence.

Also, the sheepish and somber look on her face kind of sold it as well.

Leaning my head slightly to the right, I asked, "Wanna talk about it?"

The dragon paused for a bit before responding, "N- no…"

I sat there, waiting for several minutes, before repeating, "Wanna talk about it no-?"

"No…"

Well, she's no help at all. Nope.

Taking a look around at the broken trees and kicked up dirt from all of the dragon's thrashing about, I surmised that staying here… probably isn't a good idea. Getting back onto my feet, attracting the dragon's attention, I stretched to get the non-existent bad joints out of my back and cracked my head to the right. Sighing, I took a good look at the dragon again.

"Y'know," I began, "Staying here probably won't be good for ya. Not to mention, you're still pretty hurt and I just took out a giant stick out of you."

Bow chika bow wow.

"And while the doctor in me would advise to stay still for a couple more days, the logical side of me is saying that you should probably hide in a better spot."

"But this is the best spot!"

"Okaaaay, why?"

"Because!"

Don't just pause at the "because", cause that's not really a good answer.

"No matter where I hide, as long as it's a forest, no stupid human would be able to find me!"

Well, I won't disagree that forests are a bad hiding spot. Hiding in a heavy forest is actually the perfect spot to hide, but I digress.

Also, who're you calling stupid?

"Well, I can't say that hiding in a forest is a bad place…"

"Hah, see!? Stupid human."

Ignoring the "stupid" comment, I continued, "But you might wanna go to a place with less debris…"

At that, the dragon took a look around her. Seeing the destruction caused by her incredible beam and annoying flailing, the dragon blinked.

Well, at the very least she looks sheepish.

Looking at the dragon, who was now sporting a worried face, I asked, "You got a place to stay?"

There was an obvious pause before the dragon shook her head.

Taking another minute, I continued, "You need a place to stay?"

Again, the obvious pause followed by a nod.

Sighing as I scratched my head and ruffled my hair, I looked up.

 _"Probably gonna regret this, but..."_

"Do you wanna stay with me while you recuperate?"

"Huh?"

"Don't get me wrong. A forest is one of the best places to hide in," I continued. "But sooner or later, other humans than me will find this place. And trust me, they're not as nice as I am. So, until you can get back onto your feet, you can stay at my place."

"R-really?"

"Yep. Can't turn away from a lady in trouble after all."

Not noticing the blush (how can I? Her face is covered in scales!), I continued to wait for her answer.

"Ca-... can I think about it?"

"Sure. Just don't take too long. If you ever decide to stay with me, just hol-"

"Don't worry, I can track your scent."

...

Okay, stalker alert.

"Uhh, sure. That works too," I commented.

Turning around, having said my piece, I began to walk away.

"I... I'll hold you on that promise!"

"Hmm?" I asked, before shrugging and waving my hand over my shoulder. "Yeah yeah..."

I'll soon embark on a wonderful, yet annoying, journey to the life ahead of the unknown future.


	3. A1 C3: Naruto's New Maid

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

* * *

Chapter Three: Naruto's New Maid (Whose Name is Tohru)

* * *

"Dragon…"

Naruto let out as he stared at the super large dragon that faced him. Quietly closing the door, he thought,

 _"A dragon? In this day and age? I guess I can still be surprised…"_

Feeling the increase of chakra behind (or was it in front of?) Naruto's door, the blonde casually reached for it and opened it.

Rather than the large, green, Western styled dragon, the cute girl in front of him wore a maid costume. Her blonde hair tied into twin ponytails, the girl had yellowand red central heterochromia eyes – the kind where both eyes have dual colors rather than both eyes having different colors – and a wide smile on her face.

"Good morning, Uzumaki-san!" The girl chirped.

"… Good morning…" Naruto replied back.

* * *

"Right, so… we met beforehand, I healed you up and invited you to my house… uhh, Tohru, was it…?"

"That's right!"

There was a pause as Naruto was momentarily blinded by the optimism and happiness that glowed from the girl- dragon. Something that looked very familiar to the male blonde. Twitching an eye, Naruto thought to himself,

 _"Did I? I can't remember much… the days are getting shorter every few decades or so, so I can't really remember what happened."_

"Uhh, right," Naruto started. Hearing a beeping noise, the blonde let out a sound of excitement. "Oh, the ramen's finished."

 _"Ramen?"_ Tohru thought as she watched Naruto walk into the kitchen, not recognizing the name. _"Is that a humankind food?"_

"Tch, even after thousands of years, they still can't make instant ramen truly instant…" Tohru heard her soon-to-be master complain. She surmised that it must be an age-old food that humans have made a long time ago and is still eating.

 _"Must be a great traditional human food!"_ She thought to herself.

Naruto walked out of the kitchen with two cups of instant noodles and sat one in front of Tohru. "Right, I have no idea which you wanted, so I just prepared the basic one," Naruto said, sitting back down and immediately began slurping his cup. "Eat up while it's hot. You must've been tired from the trip"

"R-right! Thank you for the food!"

As the two began eating, Naruto decided to start a conversation.

"So we met at the mountains?"

Tohru nodded, enjoying the delicious noodle substance in her mouth.

"Then you tried to kill me but instead I healed you up…"

"That's right!"

"Hmm…" Naruto mumbled as he continued to eat his precious ramen, now on his ninth cup. Tohru gaped in surprise, haven't even seen her fellow blonde pick up the other eight cups, or even eat them.

"HAH!?"

Naruto suddenly exploded, once again shocking Tohru at his unexpected outburst.

 _Do you wanna stay with me?_

 _"I remember now!"_ Naruto thought as he began to speed up his ramen slurping. Now on his 27th cup of ramen, the man ignored Tohru's gaping face as the blonde began his bad habit of overeating when stressing out or overthinking. _"I remember going to the mountains to train, but instead I met that dragon! So her name's Tohru, huh? She finally answers my first question except for where she came from. Well, I guess that doesn't matter anymore."_

"U-umm… Uzumaki… san?"

 _"Anyway, I healed her up and invited her to my house. Geez, can I ever stop inviting poor people into my house just because of some sob story that I'll probably never hear? … … probably not."_

"Uzumaki-san?"

 _"Anyway, now that she's here, where's she gonna stay? I don't got an extra room… Letting her stay at one of my other estates is just gonna be a hassle for the both of us… and now I gotta think about extra helpings of food, water, and clothes…"_

"Uzumaki-san~?"

 _"Nnnh… it's been a while since I let somebody crash over my place and freeload… I wonder if I'm rusty? Meh, I'll get over that. Still, the thing I gotta worry about now is if Sa-…"_

"Ow!"

"What are you doing…?" Naruto immediately asked after he flicked the girl in front of him in the forehead. Specifically, in front of what makes him a man. Also, one of her hands were resting on the zipper, ready to unzip Naruto's pants.

"Oh! Well, you were distracted, so I thought I might be able to sneak in this technique I saw this girl do to this other boy back in the forest!"

 _"Do I even want to know what they were doing?"_ Naruto thought, _"And why was she spying on two kids having a fellatio?"_

"Well, whatever you're gonna do, please stop."

"Ehhh? But I thought it would feel good! That boy back in the forest said so!"

"It does feel good, but there's a time and place for doing that, so please stop."

"Fine…" Tohru wined, standing back up.

"Besides," Naruto continued, "You should only do such things with the person you love." Looking straight into Tohru's eyes, Naruto continued, "Do you love me?"

Tohru scrunched her face, hesitating, "Nnnh…"

"The fact that you're hesitating pretty much told me everything," Naruto deadpanned, causing Tohru to slightly slower her head. Sighing, the blonde scratched his head. "Look, I'm flattered that you came all the way down here to become my maid, but I'm just not looking to hire anyone at the moment…"

"Oh…"

Naruto watched as Tohru deflated and sat back down.

 _"Great, now I'm feeling guilty…"_ Naruto sarcastically, nonchalantly thought as he began to drink the broth. Taking a look at the clock, he nearly spit took the broth in his mouth. Thank goodness he didn't, otherwise he would've been a total disgrace to all ramen lovers around the world.

"Shit."

"Hm?"

"I'm late for work," Naruto said, quickly getting up and dumping the cup bowl into the trash. Looking at the table, at the stacks of empty ramen cups, the blonde dropped a sweat. "Great, this'll take some time… Ugh, can't be help. Guess I'll ju-…"

The boy stopped and paused, an idea coming to mind.

"Hey, Tohru…"

"Yes?"

"You're a dragon, right?"

"Yes."

"And you can fly?"

"Yes! I flew all the way here from the mountains!"

"Right. Anyway, how fast can you fly?"

"Hmm… just about Mach 3, I believe…"

 _"About as fast as a Blackbird, huh?"_ Naruto actually looked impressed. _"Not bad."_

"In that case…"

* * *

"WHOOOO!"

Naruto whooped as he rode on top of Tohru. "Now this is a feeling I haven't felt in a long time!"

"What was that, Uzumaki-san!?"

"Don't worry about it! Just focus on getting to- actually, can you even hear me at this speed!?"

"Yes! I don't have any problems of hearing you! In fact, it was that, along with my smell, that I was able to find you!"

 _"Stalker alert…"_ Naruto amusingly thought with a smile. "Hey, Tohru…"

"Yes?"

"Why'd you want to be my maid?"

"Ah! Well, since you saved my life, I decided to serve you! Thus is a custom in my world!"

 _"I wonder which world she came from…"_ Naruto picked up the tad bit of info and decided to think upon it later.

"And also because I found some girls dressed up as maids handing out pieces of parchment and holding fences for some reason!"

"Of course…" Naruto deadpanned. _"No wonder her uniform's heavily inspired from goth loli cosplay… I should talk to her about that kind of fashion wear…"_

Opening his eyes and taking in the view, Naruto relaxed. Noticing his employer's building coming up, the blonde thought to himself,

"I guess having a maid [again] won't be so bad…"

"So you'll hire me!?"

"Ah…"

Woops.

* * *

A/N:

The more I watch Maid Dragon, the more I'm growing to love it! Damn, the series is getting me hooked with the hilarity, the adorableness, and the manzai style comedy are all so catchy!

In regards to this story and how I'll take it to the future, I currently have no plans to take it seriously. While I do have some plans for this story, it will not be my main issue, as I have other things to worry about (my other stories, for example).

On that note, the case of pairings are undecided and on indefinite hold for now. No plans of pairing Naruto with anyone, and _if_ – a man-sized "if" I might add – it ever does happen, then I hope that you'll respect my decisions and keep reading. Or stop reading, doesn't really matter, really.

Again, it's a man-sized "IF" of IF I will add pairings.

Again, pairing is undecided.

AGAIN, cause I feel that I _really_ need to point this out: no plans of shipping anyone.

...

Yet.


	4. A1 C4: The Dragon Maid known as Tohru

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

Chapter Four: The Dragon Maid known as Tohru (Cause that's not weird or odd at all)

* * *

"Right! So first thing's first is to know if you can even do maid stuff to be classified as a maid!" Naruto said with incredible vigor.

"Yeah!" Tohru cheered, pumping her fist into the air.

Naruto smiled at the girl's enthusiasm before blinking at the poster being handed to him.

"Here you go!" Tohru said, "Please come over to Maid Café Cozy!"

"Huh?"

"Hn?"

Looking at the poster, Naruto asked, "Isn't this poster from…"

"Ah, well, I saw it the other day and wondered if that was what it was like to be a maid!"

"…"

It took a moment for Naruto to realize that while Tohru was dedicated to becoming a proper maid for him, she had absolutely no clue on how to be a maid. Twitching an eye at the blatant disrespect to his fetish, something that has been developed over a hundred years, the blonde could only sigh.

"Tohru," The girl in question responded back to her employer. "That is _not_ what it is like to be a maid."

"Eh?"

* * *

"First off is a housemaid," Naruto smacked onto the backboard that appeared out of nowhere. Pinned onto the board is a sketch of what a housemaid looked like and did as her duty. "Typically the most common kind of maids, housemaids are usually charge of cleaning and maintaining the house. For the most part, however, housemaids are usually the chief of all other maids, holding a bit more power and often answer only to their 'boss' maid."

Making sure to see that Tohru was following all that he was saying, Naruto continued, "For now, however, we'll focus more on the maid aspects of cleaning."

"I can clean!" Tohru boasted.

"That right?" Naruto wondered if dragons even are good at cleaning, "Show me?"

"Right away!" The girl chirped, charging what appeared to be an energy bomb in her mouth.

Wait.

What?

A flash of light later, and everything in Naruto's living room has disappeared.

"There, all finished!" Tohru cheerfully announced before flinching in pain as Naruto flicked her in the forehead. "OW!"

"That's _not_ how you clean!" Naruto scolded, "Now put them all back!"

"Y-yes…" The dragon whimpered as an energy circle appeared before her hands. Within seconds, Naruto's belongings have returned to their rightful places.

* * *

"Laundry maids!" Naruto smacked onto the backboard that now held a picture of another maid doing the laundry pinned onto it. "They're the maids who are in charge of maintaining all beddings and towels of the household."

"Uhuh."

"And while they're at it, laundry maids also wash, dry and iron the clothes of the other members of the household, even their fellow maids. Think you can do that?"

"Of course!"

Grabbing onto one of Naruto's uncleaned shirts, Tohru immediately gobbled it into her mouth.

"What the!?"

The male blonde watched with a somewhat disgusted face as Tohru began to chew and wet his shirt in her saliva. As she chewed, Tohru reported, "My saliva's special so that I can remove only dirt and stains should I wish it!"

"Ain't that filthy? Please take my shirt out of your mouth…" Naruto deadpanned as Tohru began gargling his shirt.

A finger flick to the forehead later, and Tohru soon spat out Naruto's shirt onto the floor.

* * *

"Parlor maids!" Naruto slapped onto the backboard multiple times to emphasize importance. On the backboard is another sketch of a maid who seemed to be bowing down to another sketch of a different figure. "They're the ones in charge of receptions and, like housemaids, clean up the reception rooms while getting refreshments ready, such as teas and biscuits! What's notable about parlor maids are that they are the ones who answers the bells and welcomes in guests!"

"That I can do!"

As soon as Tohru shouted out her boast, the doorbell rang. Seeing the perfect opportunity, the girl rushed to the door and opened it. Behind the door was a delivery man, holding up a box from .

"Delivery! Please sign here-" The man stopped as a murderous aura covered him.

" **We have nothing to offer to the likes of you, foolish hum-** _AN!?"_

"Sorry, sorry, she's new at this…" Naruto apologized after flicking Tohru on the forehead once more. After signing the package, the blonde paid the delivery man extra to keep silent, although it wasn't hard cash, and closed the door.

* * *

"Finally is the kitchen maid!" Naruto almost broke the backboard in half with how hard he was hitting it. "They are the ones who help around the kitchen and present the food to the ones eating! While not that high in the maid hierarchy, it is still one of the most important roles in maid serving!"

"You got it, Uzumaki-san! You can count on me!" Tohru enthusiastically said, "In fact, you can say that cooking is my specialty!"

"Alright then," Naruto can't help but share the girl's enthusiasm. At the very least, she's determined. "Let's see what you can do!"

As Tohru cheered and went to cooking, the blonde sat at the table and began waiting for the end product to appear. As he waited, the man thought back to his previous years and began reminiscing down memory road. Just as he was about to walk down the memory of the 12th century, Naruto heard Tohru call out,

"All done!"

"That was fast. Smells pretty good too! Now then, let's see-"

The blonde man stopped as he stared at the lump of meat that sat on the table. Cooked rare, the meat looked unearthly like, with purple and yellow glistening shine as well as specks of reptilian scales that still stuck to the meat. Twitching an eye, Naruto had already recognize the dish before Tohru even announced it.

"This is…"

"That's right! It's my tail!"

That also explained why the dragon girl's tail was missing.

"No."

"Eh?"

"I said, no. I am not gonna eat this."

"Ehhh? Why? Even though I've spent the whole time cutting off my tail and cooking it…"

"Ok, first of all, eww. Please don't serve me something that's still living. I prefer it completely dead, even if it's only cut off," Naruto had to correct the dragon's misunderstanding. "Second of all, if there's food that I would place on my top five least favorite food, reptilian dishes would be number 3."

Being eaten by enlarged reptiles – snakes included – would do that to you.

"Ehhh? Even though I took the time to take out the poison in it…"

"There's poison!?" Looks like Naruto found reason number three why he doesn't like reptilian meals.

"It can't help then…" Tohru murmured, bending down to her own tail. Suddenly, as her teeth sharpened, the girl took a large bite out of the tail. Slightly disgusted, but more intrigued by her eating methods, Naruto continued to watch as Tohru ate and ate without any remorse. Gulping down, Tohru gave a small burp.

 _"She even ate the bones…"_ Naruto thought to himself.

Sighing, Tohru marveled over the taste of her own tail. Seconds later, a familiar reptilian tail sprouted from her bum and returned to full size.

 _"And it comes back with high-speed regeneration!?"_ Naruto was now incredibly curious about how the anatomy of dragons worked.

* * *

"Sigh… this sucks. You really don't know the first thing about being a maid…" Naruto couldn't help but groan at the fact.

"Ah, b-but I can learn from the ground up!" Tohru immediately responded. Desperation kicking in, the girl continued, "I'll even work for free, if that's what you wish!"

"Money's not the problem…" Naruto muttered, thinking back to his insane amount of 0's in his accounts. Yes, he deliberately included the "s" in there. There was a reason why he's not known as the world's richest man.

"I can burn villages and crops and eat all the livestock!" Tohru continued, trying to find a good spot to play with.

"Please don't. They're important for the economy…"

"I… I can curse! I know some powerful curses that can put people to their deaths instantly!"

"Please don't curse people."

"Hweeh… isn't there anything I can do to stay…?"

Naruto watched as Tohru began to try and appease him by listing off some of her good qualities. _"Even though I already hired her…"_ He thought as the girl began to tear. _"Although, that info of not having a gag reflex and being super flexible was completely unneeded…"_

* * *

A/N:

So it's been a few weeks since Dragon Maid ended, and to be completely honest, I really do want a second season...

However, with the lack of more volumes coming in (it only had five volumes since 2016), the closest thing we'll have will be OVAs and/or Specials. However, given the fact that Dragon Maid updates their manga volumes every six months or so, it's safe to say that we'll also have a chance of a second season years later.

At the moment, it's still unclear...

In any case, I hope you enjoyed the fourth chapter of Mr. Uzumaki's Dragon Maid (title pending)!


	5. A1 C5: A New Life!

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

* * *

Chapter Five: A New Life! (Living with a Dragon!)

* * *

 _"And in the end, we decided to have her be the guard of the house…"_ Naruto mumbled as he teleported into an alleyway behind a story next to his work office.

 _"Being a dragon, you should be strong, right?" Naruto interrupted Tohru as she talked about how she destroyed two of the three islands when she and a rival were fighting. Blinking, the dragon smiled._

 _"Yep! I'm strong enough to bring an Armageddon!"_

 _"Please don't," Naruto sighed, "Well then, I guess this'll have to work for now…"_

 _"Leave it to me, Uzumaki-san!" Tohru said with utmost conviction, "I'll watch the house for you!"_

"What a simpleton…" _Naruto couldn't help but think as the girl pondered over her duty to watch the house._

"Well, as long as she does her duty, I can't really complain…" The blonde pondered as he walked into the office building he worked.

"Uzumaki, we got several applicants that need to be looked over!"

"Hey, Uzumaki, you got mail!"

"Don't forget about the meeting at 1400, Uzumaki-san!"

"Yeah, I got it!" Naruto replied as he grabbed and signed the parcel that was mailed to him. Taking a look at the sender, the blonde scoffed, "The hell is that asshole thinking, mailing this to this address…"

As the obvious immortal lamented on his mysterious sender's questioning approaches, Naruto sighed and entered his main office. As he closed the door, the sign on the door read: [Editor-in-Chief].

"Oh, Chief! Welcome back!"

A brunette greeted as she saluted with a smile. Holding the parcel under his arm, Naruto greeted back, "Sup, Yukko. So we got a few applicants asking to be produced?"

"Yeah, we got a whole bunch! Of course, I took the liberty to organize some of them, and then I noticed that one of my high school friends actually applied!" Yūko Aioi reported, holding up a parchment that had a questioning illustration on it. Naruto took a good look at it and let out a groan.

"Don't tell me…"

"Man, it was such a surprise to see her applying here! Ahahaha, I never actually thought about it, but it's such a small world, ain't it!? Ah, but she's a huge fujoshi fan, so I'll have to warn you about that, ahahaha!" Yūko laughed. She then gasped, "Ah, but that's supposed to be a secret, so please don't tell anybody!"

"Right. Gotcha."

 _"Ugh… Having to deal with this kind of shit this early in the morning… I hope Tohru's having a better day than I am…"_

* * *

"Hnn… the humans of this world sure do have a lot of inconsistencies…" Tohru muttered as she searched the net that she recently discovered. The fact that the humans of this foreign world were able to pact so much information, and most in real time, into such an insecure network just flabbergasted her. Scrolling down to see what it means to use a telephone, the dragon girl surmised that it was similar to long-distance communication spell, just converted into electricity.

"I see… so that's how you use a telephone…" Tohru murmured, watching a short clip of a stereotypical teenage girl twirling the house phone's cable around her fingers.

Peeking at the house phone, Tohru frowned, "But the telephone that Uzumaki-san has doesn't have those cords that connects the so-called handset to the so-called housing parts together…"

Grabbing the handset, the dragon girl punched in the number Naruto told her to call in cases of emergencies and waited as the number dialed. A second later, a familiar voice called, _"Sup, this is Uzum-, wait a minute, this my house… did something happen, Tohru!?"_

"Ah, Uzumaki-san! No no, I was just making sure if the telephone was working. The net had pictures of telephones with cords that held the handset parts to the housing parts, so I was wondering if it still worked without it."

 _"Right… Completely forgot about that…"_ Naruto had to sigh as he remembered buying a new telephone model just last week. _"The one I have are the more recent ones, the kind that has wireless technology or whatever. It's simple to remember, so I'm sure you'll be fi- Maimai, what the hell did I say about you inputting your own crazy stories into the submitted transcripts!? You know you're not supposed to- STOP WRITING WHILE I'M TRYING TO TA-! Boop Boop Boop"_

"Uzumaki-san sure does work hard…" Tohru came to a conclusion. Pondering on what to do next, the girl came to a revelation.

"Ah, perhaps I can ask Fafnir-san!"

Summoning up a magical circle and altering the settings of the telephone to call across dimensions, Tohru picked up the phone again and leaned it against her ear. "Fafnir-san? Yes, this is Tohru. I was wondering about something. You see, I was tasked to be the guard of a house and…"

* * *

It was now after work hours and Naruto had just returned home after doing some light shopping. While entering the building to his apartment, Naruto blinked as he watched two men dressed in stereotypical Japanese burglars plead and beg to a police officer.

"Please! Help us!"

"Help you with what?"

"There's a monster!"

"A, eheh, a what?"

Shrugging, the blonde simply entered the apartment. _"One of the guys must've scared someone again… With how much the world's changing, it's getting harder for everyone to find a hiding place, huh…?"_

Opening the door to his house, Naruto paused as he was greeted with the snout of a large European dragon.

"Dragon…"

"Ah, Uzumaki-san! Welcome home!"

"… That knows my name…" It took Naruto a moment, but he now remembered, "Right… I'm back, Tohru…"

Walking inside, Naruto took off his shoes and asked, "Anything interesting happen today?"

"Yep" Tohru answered after transforming back to her human form. She then pouted, "Although I never did get to eat those two…"

"That right? Too bad, I gu… wait, what?"

* * *

 _Panting and wheezing is heard as a figure ran across the hazard battlefield. The figure, who appeared to be looking for somebody, had spiky long hair and appeared to stay spiky despite all the weight of the rain around him._

 _A cannon projectile screamed through the air towards the figure, only to be caught by the same figure and thrown away like simple crumpled up paper. The projectile dug into the earth for its weight when the figure found the person he was looking for. Rushing towards the person, a woman, he knelt next to her._

 _"Why? Why did you come out here?"_

 _The woman simply smiled, ignoring the fact that the lower half of her body was missing, and whispered, "I could not help but want to help…"_

 _"But you still could have done it! Even when you are outside of the war, you could have still helped! You did not have to be like Clara! You could still save lives behind the battlefield!"_

 _"You know… that wasn't… how I wanted to help…"_

 _"… You foolish girl…" The figure couldn't help but choke, knowing that while he can save her, the damage done to her body was too much and anything he did would only prolong the inevitable. Instead, all he could do was clutch her tightly and sob. "You foolish… foolish girl…"_

 _"I may be foolish… but at least I was a fool who tried… rather than a fool who did not…"_

 _The girl coughed blood and felt her life leaving._

 _"I'm so sorry, master… I… I wanted to live more… I wanted to be with you… to live with you… to serve you…"_

 _"You still can…"_

 _"You know I cannot…"_

 _"Don't be foolish…! You'll be alright once you've rest…"_

 _"Rest… yes. Rest sounds fine… so… so fine…"_

 _The figure began to cry uncontrollably as the girl closed her eyes._

 _"Master… I…"_

 _And she never opened her eyes again._

Waking with a jerk, Naruto had to remember where and when he was. Gasping for breath, the blonde looked out the window to see that the sun had just begun rising. Growling, he flipped to face the other side of the bed only to be greeted by the sleeping face of a cute girl. Blinking, he took hold of the blanket and looked underneath. Satisfied that they were both dressed, also remembering that he was the one to invite the girl, Tohru he remembers, to sleep in his bed since he didn't have an extra on at the time.

Shuffling in his bed so that Tohru would have more room, the blonde stared straight at the ceiling and narrowed his eyes, clearly remembering his dream. Tapped his head with his right hand, Naruto felt himself being drenched in sweat. Sighing, Naruto covered his face before groaning out loud.

"Nnnngh, it's too early for this crap…"

* * *

"I'm off!"

"Ok, have a nice day~!"

As Naruto left, Tohru began to read the step-by-step instruction left by Naruto on how to wash clothes. Being a dragon, her clothes were magically formed by her scales, but the blonde decided to buy her new clothes anyway. As such, the two sets of clothes she now owns, which were a skirt, jeans, tank top and blouse, Tohru began to wash them along with Naruto's own clothes.

"Uzumaki-san sure does work out a lot…" The dragon girl commented as she placed five of Naruto's sweatshirts into the laundry machine. Once any lose change were taken out and all the dirty and new clothes were inside the machine, Tohru turned on the machine and watched as soap and water soaked the laundry.

As soon as the laundry was finished, Tohru immediately took the wet clothes out onto the balcony, ready to hang them to be dried off. Pouting, she complained, "If only I could use my _**Breath**_ , this would have taken faster…"

 _"Oh, and before I leave," Naruto made sure to pause. Tohru blinked as Naruto lightly flicked her forehead, almost tickling her. "Don't do anything that'll attract the normal people outside, ok?"_

 _"Oh, ok…"_

 _"That means no super awesome laser beams. No turning into powerful and strong dragon form. And no scaring people off when they just wanna say hello."_

 _"Ehhh?"_

 _"I'm serious Tohru. I dunno about your world, but this world and that world is very different, got it? I'm just worried that something might happen to you while I'm gone," The male blonde smiled, "So just take it easy, ok?"_

"Is what he said…" Tohru frowned as she watched the rain clouds form. "Stupid clouds, now how are the laundry supposed to dry?"

Pouting, the dragon girl sprouted her wings and flew to the roof of the building. Summoning her transformation magic circle in front of her, Tohru soon glowed green and transformed into a magnificent European dragon. Gathering her power onto her mouth, Tohru summoned up her _**Breath**_ and roared.

With a loud boom, a section of the rain cloud cleared. Charging up more of her _**Breath**_ , Tohru continued to fire beam after beam until finally, the skies were clear. Transforming back into her human form, humming as she did so, Tohru can only smile and look forward to what the future may hold for her.

* * *

"Welp…" Naruto pondered as he and his coworkers watched the rain clouds clear away. Unlike his coworkers, however, the blonde wasn't panicking, nor was he curious as to why this strange phenomenal had happened.

"I should've seen this coming…"

* * *

As the crowds within the city questioned the strange phenomenal, a tiny figure stared as she watched a familiar beam of energy fire into the clouds. Her blue eyes blinked.

"That _**Breath**_ …" She muttered, "I found you…"

* * *

A/N:

Review whenever you can!

Disclaimer because some people are testy and/or uptight but I'll do it anyway

The author of this **_FANFICTION_** does not claim ownership, whether total or partial, over any franchise or series, any characters, locations, terms or any elements of their respective franchise or series

There.

Now you CAN'T say that I haven't disclaimed.

Take THAT!


	6. A1 C6: Drinking with No Regrets!

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

* * *

Chapter Six: Drinking with no Regrets! (Although Naruto can't get Drunk)

* * *

"Congratulations, Naganohara-san," Naruto said with as much of a professional voice that he could make. "Your short novel has been selected to be published out of the other…"

"One-hundred and forty-four," Yūko whispered.

"144 other entries for the _SUPER: Kobayashi Publications' Big Light Novel Challenge Contest!_ …" Naruto finished off. Holding onto the paper that held the certificate for the winner, he handed it to the blue-haired girl's hands.

Mio Naganohara, the recent winner for the 44th Light Novel Challenge Contest, looked at the certificate, as well as the official first copy of her light novel, and couldn't help but ask, "Thank you very much for the chance, but… I have to ask, what's with the name of the contest…?"

"Don't ask me, I didn't make it," Naruto responded.

"It was Yukko, wasn't it?" Mio guessed.

The two looked at Yūko who not only looked bashful, but was also patting the back of her head in slight embarrassment. "Ehehehe…"

"We're not praising you," The two acquaintances of the brunette shot off.

Turning to Mio, Naruto disproved, "Anyway, it wasn't Yukko who made up the name… Actually, the contest was created 44 years ago, but it was Yukko who recently coined and changed the name legally two years ago…"

"Figures…" Mio muttered.

"Anyways, let's celebrate Mio's first novel and go out drinking!" Yūko suddenly cheered.

Mio, on the other hand, wasn't too fond of going out drinking in the middle of the day, "What the- Yukko, it's too early to go out drin-."

"I don't have a problem with that," Naruto said as Mio looked shocked.

"Yes! That's why you're the best boss, Chief!"

"Flattery won't help you get a raise, Yukko."

"Aw c'mon Chief~~"

"… Just what kind of mess did I get into this time…?" Mio couldn't help but ask.

* * *

Despite what Mio thought, however, the group, along with others, decided to go out drinking after work hours. Before the celebration, Naruto and Mio took the time to discuss about her new novel as well as any news about any future releases. During that time, Yukko had invited several of her fellow coworkers along for the ride. By the end of it, a grand total of six people were going.

"Ehehehe, I can't wait to go karaoke-ing!"

"What, we're seriously gonna go out karaoke?" Mio had to ask as Yukko tsked twice.

Shaking her finger in front of her face, Yukko lectured, "Just going out to drink is too boring these days, Mio-chan! If you gotta go out drinking, you might as well go the extra mile and sing!"

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing…" Sakamoto, a tall black haired Thai-Japanese male, said. His hair was slick black and had unique amber-colored eyes. Next to him, a short girl with raven hair giggled.

"I think it'll be fun!" Nano Shinonome said with enthusiasm, glad to be hanging out with her friends.

Mai Minakami simply read her book, letting out, "Fun Time," as her only dialogue.

"Don't worry too much about it, Sakamoto," Naruto said as the elevator reached the first floor. Exiting out, the halfy could only grunt as his boss continued, "Going karaoke while drinking out is a perfect way to hang out!"

"You can even say that to drink and to sing… is without a doubt, perfect! Just kidding!"

As one, every single person within the vicinity scowled at Yūko's poor excuse of a pun. One can even say that their faces were the exact copy of a certain disgusted face one makes when encountering a certain annoying holy sword within a certain manga.

"Anyway," Naruto continued, ignoring Yūko's cry of how nobody knows pure comedy anymore, "The point here is to not only celebrate Mio's new book, but to also have fun."

"Even if you say that…" Sakamoto trailed off as the group paused to gaze at the front door. "The problem isn't that we're going out celebrating. The problem is…"

The only males of the group turned to look at Yūko who looked very excited to go out drinking, claiming that she'll drink five rounds. At this, Mai and Nano tried to have the girl rethink her idea. In the meantime, both Naruto and Sakamoto simply stared and deadpanned while Mai ignored the world with her books.

* * *

(At the _On! On! Tsuchikage Karaoke!_ )

"Puhaaah!" Yūko gasped out as she drank her second round of beer. "Drinking after work is just the best!"

"Just watch how much you drink…" Mio muttered as everyone listened to Mai sing. Minutes prior to entering the karaoke bar, Mio has given up on trying to make Yūko change her mind about drinking more than 5 mugs of alcohol.

"Anyway," Sakamoto began, "The amount of contestants we got for this year's contest was pretty big… how much did we get again?"

"145!" Yūko cheered on her third mug.

"Wha, Yukko, you're drinking too much!"

"No I'm not! This is the perfect amounts~!"

"Watch where you're waving that!"

"Right…" The Thai-Japanese muttered, "So the big man considered this year a big success as well."

"Right," Naruto agreed, drinking his 9th cup of _Kirin Ichiban_. "Wasn't the previous winner a group effort or something?

"Yeah. I think it was _Moontype_ or something like that."

"I remember!" Nano butted in, "They were working on a visual novel, weren't they?"

Naruto nodded, "Yep. They're first installment was a huge success, so I heard. I think they're gonna make an anime of it."

"Already?"

"That was fast!"

Shrugging, Naruto was reaching for his 15th mug when suddenly, there was a large *thunk*. The trio who were talking looked towards the rest of the room where Mio suddenly slammed a mug onto the table. Her face was clearly red and was slowly hiccupping.

"Sa~sa~ha~ra~…" The bluenette slurred. "Why haven't you noticed me!? I've ran after your for years, and what do you do!? You turn your back and kept running! You sunovabitch! I'mma ram a dildo up your fuckin' ass, you-… you-… Megane-yaro!"

"Y- hic! You tell'em, Mio-chan!" Yūko cheered on the ground.

 _"They're drunk…"_ The non-drunk persons thought, and for good reasons. Sakamoto was watching how much he could drink while also looking at his tolerance levels. Nano had a… particular body that disabled her ability to get drunk, and Naruto… Well, not only did the years help him build somewhat of a tolerance, but his unique body enhancements also prevented him in getting drunk.

 _"How did Yukko even get Mio to drink?"_ Naruto thought, remembering Mio saying that she won't be drinking, since she had to work on her next book tomorrow.

The remainder of the group who weren't drunk then turned to Mai, only to find her drinking a special remedy that would help ease not only drunkenness, but also the hangover that came along with it. Dropping a sweat, all three of them, they could only think:

 _"As expected of Minakami-san…"_

 _"As expected of the little jō-san…"_

 _"As expected of Maimai…"_

* * *

(After the party)

"U- Uuueeeeeehhhhh…"

"Ugh, she completely reeks of alcohol… remind me why we have to drag these two back to their houses?"

Naruto, who was carrying Yūko, deadpanned at Sakamoto, who was carrying Mio who looked like she wanted to puke, "Duh. She's our charge now, not to mention that we got a contract with her too. Despite it sounding mean, she's our money maker at the moment…"

"Uzumaki-san! That's mean!" Nano, who was carrying both the drunk girls' belongings, cried out. Naruto now deadpanned at her.

The reason for Nano carrying extra luggage was because while the men were carrying the drunken girls, the last member of their small party group had left without saying a word. Instead, there was a letter that read, "I'm leaving" written on it.

Classic Mai pace.

As the group stumbled, they stopped, gazing towards the entrance of the karaoke shop.

 _"Oh boy…"_ Naruto thought as he and the others stared at a familiar blonde girl standing behind (or is it front?) the doorway, glaring deaths at the group. More specifically, at the people surrounding Naruto.

"There'sh a- hic- there'sh a girl looking at ush…" Yūko woke up to an interesting view, "Doeth anyone know- hic! Know her?"

"Nope."

"No, I do not! Now shut the fuck up! You bitch!"

"First time I've seen her."

"Maid…"

"Of course nobody knows her," Naruto answered as he asked where Mai came from. The girl simply replied that she was at the bathroom. "She's the girl I recently hired as my maid…"

"Oohooh! The rumored- hic- 'Myssssssterious M-m-maid of Chief- hic- Chief Uzumaki'!"

"Please stop coining names…" Sighing, Naruto turned to the girl. "Tōru, what're you doing here?"

"I wanted to give you a ride home…" Tōru answered.

"Tōru? What the fuck kind of a name is that!? Did her parents think up of that name after Thor or somethin'!? Bunch'a lazy ass bitches…" Mio nagged.

"Sthoundsss exhothic," Yūko complimented as she paid no attention to Naruto talk with his maid. "She alsho has thosssz kind of eyesh thoo…"

"Huhh!?"

"I mean- hic- I mean, look, her eyesh are yellow bua-but have redz outlines…"

"Central heterochromia."

"Yeeeeaaaah, yeeeeeeaaaaah, thath kind."

Mio and Mai both looked at Yūko (drunkenly glaring in Mio's case), already knowing that she had no clue what the word meant, as Naruto walked up with Tōru.

"Oh well, it can't be helped. Introduce yourself, these are my coworkers."

"Ok! I'm Tōru Uzumaki! Nice to mee- hya!"

"Don't go around using my name without permission," Naruto's coworkers watched with bemused looks as the said-man flicked Tōru on the nose. As the girl apologized, they took the time to introduce themselves.

"I'm Nano Shinonome, nice to meet you too!"

"Mai Minakami."

"Mio Naganohara! And don'chu- hic- and don'chu forget it! Bitch!"

"S-s-s-suuuup, Yūko- hic- Aioi's the name! You can just- hic- call me Yukko!"

"Sakamoto. We're all Uzumaki's coworkers."

"Alright, now zat introducshons' outa- hic- outa the way, let's go out and karaoke!" Yūko cheered as she began to lead the way.

"We already did karaoke…" Sakamoto deadpanned. Shrugging, Naruto began walking towards the direction to Yūko's house while rest began to follow. Turning to his maid, Naruto said,

"Tōru."

"Yes?"

"This is an order: don't kill anyone."

While the people around the blonde were curious and confused, Tōru could only grunt in irritation but complied with the order given. Watching Naruto walk off without any further comment, they could only look at each other and shrug, rushing to catch up. Walking alongside, Tōru had to hold back her killing intent.

 _"They're trying to steal Uzumaki-san from me! But I won't let them! The only one suited to be Uzumaki-san's maid is me!"_

"Uuugh… why is it so cold!? Hic! Dammit, I'mma fucking fuck this cold weather!" Mio asked as Yūko looked around.

Shrugging, the brunette suggested, "I- I mean, ain't it closh to holideiz…?"

"Yukko, you braindead stupid bitch! The holidays was _TWO MONTHS_ ag- guuuuueeeeehhhh…"

 _"Nah, it's totally because of Tōru's killing intent…"_ Naruto decided to keep that tidbit to himself.

* * *

(Aioi Residence)

As Mio barfed into the toilet, Naruto quickly dumped Yūko onto her bed. Soon afterwards, he raided the kitchen before finding what he was looking for. Quickly setting up a remedy to cure both of the drunken girls' hangover the next morning, the blonde uncapped the orange juice bottle he stole, "Alright. Guess we can leave now."

"You sure it's ok to leave them like that?" Sakamoto asked.

"You offering to stay the night?"

"No thanks."

Shrugging, Naruto continued to drink his newly acquired orange juice. "Alright, now that we're done… Tōru, your offer still up?"

"Eh?" Tōru blinked. Almost immediately after, she smiled, "Yup!"

Skeptical, Sakamoto commented, "I don't think riding a girl would be beneficial for either your reputation or her back… why don't we just… call… a…"

The Thai-Japanese trailed off as he, Nano and Mai watched Tōru transform from a little girl into a large dragon. Nano's face visibly paled while Sakamoto twitched an eye. The man himself appeared to have trouble forming his sentence. "A… a… a…"

"Dragon…" Mai commented herself.

"Here we go!" Naruto jumped with little effort onto the dragon's back. Looking back at his subordinates, he said, "Be careful returning back home, you guys!"

"I… Wha… How…"

"Oh, and pay no attention to the dragon before you! It's all just a dream that you'll wake up in just a few!"

"Ri-right… a dream. Hahahahaha, a dream…" Sakamoto had to laugh, seeing as he was just about to believe that it was a dream. Stumbling a bit, the male walked off as Nano appeared to have short circuited and just stared off blankly. In the meantime, Mai just simply shrugged and took Nano's hand, leading the girl back to her home.

"Uzumaki-san. Was it ok to have them see me?"

"Don't worry about it. Since we went out drinking earlier, they'll just believe that it's a dream and shrug it off the next morning."

"If Uzumaki-san says so…"

"Exactly because I said so. Now come on, I just got a good idea on how to get you used to being a maid."

"Really!?"

"Yup. You won't be a parlor maid and watch the house. Instead, you'll be a…"

Naruto's voice grew further away as the two flew off into the brisk night, the days of winter nearing its end.

* * *

A/N:

So a couple of you guys argued that most of what I wrote was a complete carbon copy of the original _Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon_ , and after re-reading my previous chapters a couple times, I had to agree. Regardless, I'm keeping the previous chapters, but will attempt to modify my future chapters so that they won't be carbon copies.

Hope that complies with everyone's wishes.

In any case, in my honest opinion, the true meaning of fan fictions is to simply ask a simple question, "What if?"

Now I won't go into details of the domino affect, cause that'll take too much effort and I'm pretty sure I'll lose a couple people (including myself) while trying to explain the affect. In any case, my way of writing fan fiction is to simply write out "what if" scenarios, even if they are carbon copies. In fact, I wouldn't say that they're carbon copies at all. A character change there. A change of dialogue there. And changing a few backstories here and there. And it's no longer a carbon copy. A carbon copy is literally copy-and-paste. What I'm doing is inputting my own words.

Take what I said as you will. I can't really change how people think, so either way, just know that I'm working really hard to make my stories as unique as possible, as hard as it may be.

So please, bear with me.

Thanks.

EDIT:

Something I forgot to add before I posted this was to explain Yukko's pun, that can only be understood in Japanese. So here's the explanation:

In Japanese, Yukko said:

"歌がと飲むが言うことできるで、疑いなく完璧だッ！"

In Romaji, it says:

"Uta ga to Nomu ga Iukoto dekiru de, Utaga inaku Kanpeki da!"

From here, you can see the familiar phonograph between "Uta ga" and "Utaga", which is the pun that Yukko was going for. ... I know, cringy. But that's the kind of pun I can see Yukko going for.


	7. A1 C7: To the Guild!

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

* * *

Chapter Seven: To the Guild! (Although it's only the shopping district)

* * *

It was a normal day today, something that Naruto thought with a sarcastic tone.

Not to say that the weather report this week was wrong – to which they usually were – but Naruto always had to call bullshit whenever it was "predicted" that it would either rain, be cloudy or sunny, or even the occasional thunderstorm. Being attuned with nature, Naruto often corrects the reports by saying the exact opposite of what the weather would often be like. Not to be arrogant or anything, but Naruto would often be the source of weather information from both his coworkers as well as his neighbors.

Being attuned with nature often does that to you, after all.

In any case, back to the story; Naruto had just finished one of his manuscript chapters for one of his many popular books around the world. Letting out a sigh, the blonde leaned into his favorite orange-colored recliner. Staring at the sky, he thought, _"Finally finished off a chapter. Now then, how can I get Satsuki to finally look at Ōka's direction without Menma noticing? Hmm, truly this is a plight that requires Hitomi's tsundere-ness to catch Menma's attention. But where can I give Hitomi some way to transform into a pettanko? Why is it always so hard to write yuri anyway? Haaah, what a nice day it is, tod-."_

A loud explosion interrupted the blonde.

 _"And I spoke too soon…"_

Naruto thought with soot covering his entire being.

"Tōru…"

"Woops, eheh!"

 _"Don't you 'eheh' me when you're covered in soot!"_

* * *

"… but it wasn't heating up fast enough," Tōru tried to form an excuse.

"Then use an ember move, not a flamethrower move. At least the attack power of ember is softer than that."

"Eh?"

"Nothing, nothing, just rambling to myself," Naruto mumbled as the two blondes crossed the street. Turning to the right, the two found themselves in front of the shopping district. Resting an arm on his waist, the literally older blonde sighed, "Now then, what should we get?"

"Hmm… how about fish?" Tōru suggested, having been craving the taste of the ocean's meats. Shrugging, her fellow blonde nodded.

"Sure, I don't see why not."

* * *

(Hōzuki's Fresh Fish Off The Boat)

"Oh, Tōru-chan! Welcome!"

"Good afternoon, Kaigetsu-san!" The dragon maid greeted the albino man. Blinking, Naruto could only watch as the two greeted each other like old friends.

Now noticing the other blonde, Kaigetsu also blinked, "Wah, Naruto-dono! What're you doing here!?"

"I work for Uzumaki-san."

"Tōru here works for me."

"Oooh, so you're Naruto-dono's maid," Kaigetsu nodded, as if now solving a puzzle. Thumbing up, the man grinned, "Then you're in good hands, Tōru-chan! Naruto-dono is the perfect man to work under!"

"Hey, hey, enough with the formalities…" The blonde male exclaimed.

Kaigetsu simply laughed, "Hahahahaha, here, take some fish! Have another one on the house!"

"Uwah! Thank you!" Tōru thanked the fisherman as Naruto stared at the amount of mackerel they now have. Looking back at Kaigetsu, the older blonde raised a brow.

"You sure you want to give out one on the house?"

"I'm sure, Naruto-dono! Take it! It's the least I can do for you!"

"Please drop the formalities…" Naruto breathed out.

* * *

(Matsuki Bakery)

"Oh, Naruto-san! Welcome!" Takehiro greeted as Naruto entered alongside his maid.

"Sup," Naruto greeted back while mentioning that the baker should drop the formalities. While the blonde began to look around, Takehiro blinked as he stared at the girl who stood behind the blonde.

"Eh? Tōru-chan?"

"Hello, Takehiro-san!"

"She works for me," Naruto interjected before the baker could ask his question. Not even looking back, the blonde plucked a pack of loaf of bread off of the shelves. Chuckling in confusion, Takehiro could only shrug.

"Is that right…?"

"Yup. It's been over a week now, I think," Naruto answered again.

"Well, in that case, here have an extra loaf!" Takehiro gifted as Tōru thanked the man.

"Wha-?" Naruto had to ask as the baker shrugged again.

"Just take it, Naruto-san! Take it as a congratulations for hiring a maid! As well as for Tōru too!" Takehiro explained, packing the loaves of bread into plastic bags. Handing the bags to Tōru, he continued, "And besides, I'm pretty sure Yoshie will scold me if I don't!"

"How is she anyway? Aren't you guys having a baby soon?"

The man shrugged, "She's doing well! I'm sure good ole' Daisuke would be become a handsome young boy!"

"What makes you think it's a boy?" Naruto teased.

"Bah, of course it'll be a boy! Who else would help me around in the bakery?"

 _"Right…"_ Naruto thought to himself as he exited the bakery with Tōru in tow.

Waving the man goodbye, Tōru stated, "He's a bit sexist…"

"Well, that's how the world is… fathers want a good son to help around the household and mothers want a good daughter to pamper and model…"

"How odd…"

"Tell me about it," Naruto agreed.

The two walked further into the shopping district before Naruto gazed at Tōru.

 _"Still…"_ Naruto thought as he watched Tōru interact with the people of the shopping disctrict. _"The one who's odd is you, Tōru. Or, actually, the correct word would be surprising. I didn't think you'd be able to socialize with 'lower beings' like us humans… Hmm… then again, I don't really know much about you. Hah, like I should be talking. Oh well, I guess we can learn more about each other as the days keep going-…"_

"Huh? Chief?"

Blinking, Naruto looked to the side to see a familiar face in the crowd. "Yukko?"

"What're you doing here?"

"Right back at'cha," Naruto responded back as he looked over his subordinate's casual clothes. "Today isn't your day off, is it?"

"It is."

Looking sheepish, Naruto let out an "Oh…" before shrugging.

"Hmm? Ain't this your maid?" Yūko asked looking at Tōru who walked towards them carrying an extra plastic bag filled with beef. Seeing her boss nod in confirmation, the girl gained a glint in her eyes. "Can it be? Are you two dating? How scandalous!"

"Why would we be dating?" Tōru asked as Naruto palmed his face.

"Huh? Oh, uhh. Well…"

"Forget it, Tōru. It's just Yukko being Yukko."

"Yeah! It's just me being- Hey!"

"Don't you deny it, Yukko."

"Ok…"

Giggling as her employer berated her fellow employee, for lack of better terms, Tōru smiled, watching Naruto talk. As the two talked, Tōru noticed that Naruto has been greeted by many people who walked passed the trio. In fact, it was as if Naruto was a popular figure amongst the mass as the blonde was treated with either respect, as an old friend, or even as someone to look up to. Gazing at her fellow blonde as he waved back at a little girl, Tōru wondered, _"Uzumaki-san sure is popular… I wonder why that is so?"_

So into her thoughts, the dragon almost missed Naruto ask, "In any case, you two hungry?"

"Well, I had a _hoikoro_ bento…" Yūko responded as Tōru wondered why he asked.

"I'm thinking about getting some deserts. What'dya guys think?"

"I'm in!"

"Yukko, you're paying your own."

"Aww, c'mon Chief!"

"How 'bout it, Tōru?"

Smiling, the dragon girl answered, "Yes!"

* * *

"Let's see, let's see… what should I get? The strawberry shortcake? Or maybe the mont blanc? Oh oh oh, what about the truffle!? Or maybe the tart! Ahhhh, there's so many choices!"

"Just pick one," Naruto deadpanned as he got ready to order, having already chosen a cheesecake with whipped cream and strawberry topping. "What about you Tōru?"

"I'll take the éclair!"

"Oooh! Nice choice, Tōru-chan! In that case, I'll take the coco cream puff, please!"

 _"That's totally different than the ones you listed!"_ Naruto deadpanned again.

On the other hand, Tōru struck a conversation with her companions. "Did you know, éclair means lightning?"

"Does it?"

"In French, yeah," Naruto responded.

"Tōru-chan, you're French!?"

"Eh? French?"

"That does explain the maid costume!"

"What she's wearing is simply cosplay. It's not even modeled after French maids," Naruto countered as he paid for the sweets. In her own defense, Tōru cried out that her uniform was authentic and that she was an actual maid.

"That reminds me! Speaking of lighting, Tōru-chan! Are you named after Thor!?" Yūko had to ask. Behind her, Naruto leaned in, also curious.

"Thor? What's that?"

"It's a Norse god who controls lightning," Naruto commented.

Hearing the reason why, Tōru shook her head. "I don't know about any god named Thor, but I was actually named after a character in a book from this world."

"This world?" Yūko repeated.

"Don't worry too much about it, Yukko, it's just role play."

"Hauu, I'm not playing, Uzumaki-san! I really am named after a character from a book!"

"Wow, she's really into it…" Yūko smiled, _"Chūnibyō, huh? Haven't seen one since high school…"_

 _"A character named Tōru? Hmm, wonder why that sounds familiar…"_ Naruto thought to himself. Before he could think more into it, however, a scream suddenly caught his ears.

Looking up, along with Yūko and Tōru, who were also both curious, the blonde watched as a man wearing slightly dirtied clothes steal a woman's purse, running off with utmost desperation and determination. Noticing the thievery, Yūko yelled out, "Ah! Thief!"

"What kind of thief steals in broad daylight and without wearing a ski mask or gloves?" Naruto pondered as Tōru stood up.

"Uzumaki-san."

"Hmm?"

"Do you mind if I catch him?"

Looking at Tōru, Naruto hummed as he stared at the blazing fire inside the dragon's eye. Shrugging, the blonde answered, "Sure, go ahead. Just don't kill him."

Smiling, the dragon girl gave a salute, "Understood!"

Now preparing herself to catch the lousy thief, Tōru dug one foot into the ground before setting the other foot behind her. Her muscles clenching before being released like a spring, Tōru took off like a rocket only to choke on her collar.

"HRRK!"

"On second thought, we can leave it to him."

"On, gehoh, on who-?"

" _ **JUSTICE CRASH**_!"

The sound of crashing caught the ears of Tōru, who finally stopped choking. Looking up, the blonde girl saw the thief now run over by a regular bicycle that has been thrown against him. Before him, stood an average man in a black suit, wearing armor around himself. His face is somewhat obscured with his helmet and his goggles, but Tōru recognized him as one of the famous so-called heroes around the world.

"It's Mumen Rider!"

"Oooh!"

"Go, Mumen Rider!"

"We're rooting for you!"

"Defend Justice!"

As the citizens around the hero cheered, Naruto deadpanned, "He's only catching a thief…"

"As expected of Mumen Rider! His justice knows no bounds!" Yūko praised.

"You too!?" Naruto played the straight man. He is further surprised when the brunette takes out a signing board.

Looking for a marker to use, Yūko states, "Ooh, I wonder if he'll give me an autograph!? Oh man, Mio-chan and Mai-chan'll be so jealous!"

 _"Oh forget it…"_ Naruto sighed, knowing how much Yūko adored heroes. Giving up on a lost cause, Naruto turned to Tōru only to find that she was grinding her teeth in anger. _"What the!?"_

"Damn you, Mumen Rider! Stealing my spotlight! I wanted to show off in front of Uzumaki-san!"

 _"Oh geez…"_ Naruto heavily sighed this time, not sure what to say. Reaching over, the man pats the dragon on the back. "There, there, there'll be a next time…"

"But, Uzumaki-san!"

"Don't worry too much about it; Nakimi is just doing his job," Naruto responded. Grabbing ahold of his maid's hand, Naruto began to lead Tōru away from the commotion, ignoring Yūko who was eager to collect an autograph from a hero. "C'mon, let's get going. I'm starving."

"A-alright, Uzumaki-san."

Blinking, Tōru followed her employer before looking down at her hand that was conjoint with Naruto's. Unfamiliar with the warm feeling in her chest, the girl simply allowed herself to be lead.

"By the way, don't use your tail as an ingredient."

"Ehh!? But that tail is the best part of any balanced meal!"

"That's not the main point…"

"Aww, please, Uzumaki-san!"

"No means no, Tōru! I don't wanna eat your tail!"

"Hauu…!"

As the two blondes walked away from the shopping district, a little girl watched. Her blue eyes gazed upon the dragon girl before glaring at the tall man.

"Tōru-sama…" She whispered.

* * *

A/N: Disclaimer's in Chapter 5, in case some of you missed it.

In any case, no, this does not mean that Tōru is gaining a crush on Naruto. Given the fact that Tōru and her father are in some sort of a not so good relationship, I'm assuming that Tōru has never felt someone care for her before (we have yet to see her mom, after all, so I can't say for sure). But to say again, pairing is uncertain, even if there will be one, I will do my damn hardest to keep it as realistic as possible and have it build up rather than it be a love-at-first-sight kinda thing.

Also, just because our favorite bicycle-riding hero has come in as a cameo, doesn't guarantee that there are other of our favorite heroes in this world either. It's just what it is, a cameo. Please don't expect any other heroes to be popping in any time soon! If ever!


	8. A1 C8: The Intro of the Chibi Dragon!

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

* * *

Chapter Eight: The Introduction of the Adorable and Popular Chibi Dragon! (Whose name is Kanna)

* * *

So it's been more than a week since Tohru's arrival and while it may have been hectic, I supposed I wouldn't trade it in for anything else. I mean, ever since obtaining this immortality, I made lots of promises with lots of people I've been close to, to live a life with no regrets, no matter how many times I gotta live beyond the lives of others.

Needless to say, I've been doing my best, but it's been pretty rough.

Yeah… really, really rough

Then Tohru came into my life and I guess I can safely say that my life is about to become busy again.

And by busy, I mean electrifyingly occupied.

* * *

 _"Haaaaah, so bored…"_ I thought to myself as I laid in the middle of the sunlight that burned through the screen doors to the balcony. And I exaggerate, the light from the star that warms our home planet isn't burning that much. Rather, it's just hot enough to where it's comfortable and I can nap all I want in it without the fear of burning up to a crisp, which, when I think about it, is rather impossible for me now.

Pity.

Snoring away, I stretched a bit to grab those kinks that locked my bones and loosened my muscles. Smacking my lips, I ignored the front door ringing once in favor of the comfortable warmth of sunlight. The doorbell rang again, but once more, I ignored it. Vaguely thinking about what I should do as Tohru had left to go shopping for groceries, again, the doorbell began to ring in sequence, ring after ring after ring after ring after ring afte-

My eyes twitched.

My snoring mouth began to frown.

My mood now going down, I groaned and hefted myself into sitting positions.

"Alright, who dares to interrupt my nap time?" I growled. Getting onto my feet, I stomped towards the front door and yanked it open. "What'dya want!?"

I blinked.

Looking to the left, I see nothing. Looking to the right, once again, I see nothing. Scratching my head, I looked down and blinked.

Standing in front of me stood a young girl. A very young girl who stood at a towering 4 feet, if I was calculating correctly. With very light violet hair with white horns sticking out of the side of her head, I could've mistaken her for a regular foreign girl if it weren't for the obvious horns I pointed out a moment ago as well as the swinging tail that swung lazily behind her.

 _"Oh boy…"_ I thought to myself. _"Another dragon, I guess."_

The two of us simply stared at each other in silence. She blinked and I blinked. At the same time, creepily enough.

Oddly enough, there was something about this girl that seemed familiar… and I'm not talking about how she looks. Nope. Rather, it's the look in her eyes that sold it. Like, seriously, it looks so familiar, but I can't quite put my finger on it. It reminds me of something from a time long, long ago, at a far, faraway place…

The longer I tried to guess why she looked familiar, the longer the girl stared back at me with her bright blue eyes that seem so innocent.

Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Right, anyway, "You wanna come in?" I asked.

Without even saying a word, I stepped aside and the girl walked in. I mean, it was one of those moments where two people could tell what the other were thinking without speaking words! It was kind of weird, since that usually only happens when I'm fighting or when I was with Hinata, but… oh well.

Taking a seat on a sitting pillow as the girl took her own sitting pillow that I offered, one that was much fluffier than the ones I own, the girl then sat in silence and stared at me. Sighing to myself, I could only have dull eyes as the girl seemed to be watching my every moves. _"Like I don't need any more stalkers…"_

Let it be known that because of my multiple book series that has been around for nearly a century, all with unknown authors that have been, knowingly to the public, passed down as a family heirloom of a sorts, there were many out there that wanted to find out the identity of this mysterious author (who so happens to be me). I mean, seriously, what other authors out there have a cult following after them? Rowling? Twain? The Grimm Brothers? Shakespeare!?

In all seriousness, I've spent the last century having this set of mysterious authors as my front to prevent myself from gaining any stalkers, but alas, this only spurred the people of the world to find out my identity(s). And yes, I added the "s" in there, 'cause technically, to the public, the author(s) of my books are multiple people, since nobody can live past 100 after all.

Well.

Except me, but that's not the point.

Ugh, I'm getting distracted, curse my ability to change subjects on the fly!

Sighing again, I looked back at the girl, "So, you got a name?"

Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

"You a friend of Tohru's?"

Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

"You a stalker? Just jokin'."

Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

 _"Ok, this is starting to get annoying and boring at the same time,"_ I thought to myself, _"Is that even possible?"_

As I mulled over the possibility of somehow being annoyed and bored at the same time, the girl gulped. Seems like instead of just staring at me blankly like a little doll, she was actually trying to muster up the courage to speak.

How cute~

"Break up with Tohru-sama."

Ok. Not so cute anymore.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself…" I groaned, "Tohru and I aren't dating. She's only an employee, and I the employer. Seriously, stop mixing the two up! We're not a couple, there's no scandalous boss-worker secret love-love thing going on behind everyone's back, and there's certainly no chemistry between us!"

Like, seriously! I've repeated myself over and over, and everyone still thinks that Tohru and I are going out! This isn't some cheesy romantic manga with a hint of comedy and drama on the side!

We.

Are not.

Dating!

"Liar!"

Goddammit…

"Who're ya callin' a liar, chibidora!?"

"I saw you and Tohru-sama holding hands yesterday!"

"First of all, I was leading her, not holding her hand! There's a difference! Second of all, so that was you that was tailing us yesterday! And third of all, it's 'Tohru-sama and I'!"

For the sake of making things simpler, the author in me that has been developed during the Hundred-Year War, which helped since I was single-handedly manning a war-orphanage at the time, usually has me making a lot of comments and corrections to other people's speech patterns and habits. Yes, it's rude, I know, doesn't make me any less right. And it helps being able to read and write children books for the kids.

"Lies!"

"You callin' me a liar!?"

"You're not a truther, either!"

"Why you little…!"

"Give her back!" The little munchkin pounced on me and began banging her tiny little hands against me. While it didn't hurt, it did annoy me. A lot.

Reminds me of another little munchkin who was prone to hitting me…

"Ow, ow, ow," I feigned pain to follow the universal laws of female wrath. Curse you, Universal Laws of Female Wrath™! Once again you get in the way of my immense durability and high speed regeneration! And why in the world did that trademark sign appear outa nowhere!?

"Give her back! Give back Tohru-sama!" The girl continued to scream.

"I'd give her back, if only she wanted to! Now get off, you little-…!"

"I'm back, Uzumaki-san! Great news! There was this sale going on and-…"

"Ah."

The two of us fighting stopped and paused as Tohru walked in from the front door. Despite her eyes looking on in slight denial, I assured her,

"This is definitely what looks like, Tohru…"

"You- You're into little children!?"

"NO NO NO NO NO, you're definitely getting the wrong idea, Tohru! You're definitely getting the wrong idea!" I yelled back in desperation. Being in this kind of situation for the first time ever (which rarely, if ever, happens) I could do nothing but be desperate to clear my name. Actually, "Where the fuck did you get that kind of thinking anyway!?"

"Ah, well, we Dragons are often mistaken as lolicons since the humans of our world thought that having a young female virgin sacrifice would appease our rages…"

"Do I look like a dragon to you!?" Once more, I took on the role of the tsukkomi. Which seems to be happening quite often these days. "Where on earth do I look like somebody who wants a young female virgin as a sacrifice!? I don't even want one in the first place!"

"Oh…" Tohru actually looked disappointed at that.

"Don't look disappointed because I don't want a young female virgin as a sacrifice," I deadpanned.

"By the way, who's the little girl behind you?" She asked, changing the subject.

Huffing, I responded, "Don't you go changing the subject, Tohru… Anyway, this girl…"

"Tohru-sama," The girl piped up, peeking up from behind me. In any case, please step away from me this instance, little girl. Before I-

"Kanna?"

"You actually do know her…" It was my turn to be surprised as the girl jumped away from me and ran towards my dragon maid. Immediately latching onto my fellow blond, the girl snuggled into Tohru and looked pleased as heck as the older girl patted her. Geez, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought the girl, Kanna if I'm getting her name right, was a puppy.

"This girl's name is Kanna Kamui."

Bing-… wait, Kamui?

"Why are you laughing, Uzumaki-san?" Tohru asked as I tried my best not to laugh out loud. Kanna, in turn, glared at what she thought was me making fun of her name. In contrast, however, I was laughing at the thought of a little dragon girl from another dimension having the same name as a widely feared (or at the very least, once feared) technique in the world.

A dimensional jumping technique to add as well.

"N-n-nothing. It's, hehehe, it's an inside joke that my friend and I have… hehehehe…"

Let it be known that we would often have fun poking at the odd things that were named after us, or after the things that used to exist. Like the Naruto Whirlpools that exist at the Naruto City with oranges named after the city (I know right!? It's awesome! I visit every year!) as well as the gods and goddesses, Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu and the like. Hmm? Who's this "us", you ask? Well, it's me and-

"By the way, Kanna, how did you know I was here?"

"I saw your [Breath] a few days ago and followed it here."

"Ah."

"Busted…" I poked fun at Tohru as the girl blushed in embarrassment for once. "That reminds me, what did I say about using your powers in public?"

"To not to…"

"Exactly, and what did you do?"

"I used it."

"Exactly," I nodded, "Now, while I'd normally punish you for doing such things, as your lord and master and such, for now we got a bigger problem."

Namely, the little dragon girl who keeps glaring at me, as if glaring holes would burst me into flames.

Way to be a copycat, little Kanna, that's already been done. And with inescapable black flames at that too.

Anyway, that's beside the point.

"So let me get this straight…" I began after the three of us sat down with cups of water. Pointing at the little dragon munchkin, I continued, "You came to this world looking for Tohru after her supposed disappearance during a battle against a god in your world."

"Yes."

"So basically, it's all Tohru's fault," I quickly summed up as my fellow blonde looked betrayed.

"EH!? Why is it my fault!?"

"First of all, the fact that Kanna came to this world looking for you proves that everyone you know back in your world either thinks that you're dead or knows that you're in this world in one way or another," I accused, shooting off an imaginary arrow at Tohru, who flinched at being shot. "Secondly, because of your little fireball that day, you brought the attention of a lot of people, including the little munchkin here."

"My name is Kanna."

"I heard, Munchkin," I said with a dull face, purposely ignoring the little munchkin for her actions earlier. The girl pouted, but unlucky for her, I am immune to such powerful techniques, proof that I have ascended beyond that of what is known as the ultimate cuteness!

I'm getting sidetracked, ANYWAY!

"Anyway, you really should let your friends know that you're alive and well," I lectured. "I'm pretty sure that if I'm in your shoes, my friends and family would be worried sick about my whereabouts."

Honestly, they'd wreck the whole world just to look for me, bless their souls.

Tohru, looking at least ashamed and sheepish, ducked her head, "I- I'm sorry…"

"Then, then!" The munchkin suddenly spoke up, "Will you come back with me?"

"Eh?" Tohru looked a little surprise, to which, quite honestly, I think was pointless as I thought it was a great idea to at least go back and tell her friends that she's fine.

"Ah, well… um…"

Why in the world are you hesitating?

"I can't do that right now."

Oh, you have got to be kidding me…

Sharing my feelings – to an extent – Kanna looked devastated. "But… but why?"

"It's that… Uzumaki-san saved my life. I at least owe him a debt that I must fulfill…"

"Oi oi, don't you go putting this on me," I butted in, "All I did was get rid of that sword that was stuck in you."

Bow chika bow wow.

Speaking of, ever since I took that sword out of Tohru, the super badass shiny sword just up and disappeared! I mean, what's up with that!? I should at least be allowed to keep that sword in the dragon, shouldn't I!? That's what happened with Altria, anyway! I demand a refund!

I mentally coughed; anyway, getting back to the matter at hand-

"I knew it!"

Oh, come on!

"It adds up!" The little munchkin accused, "Holding hands yesterday, making Tohru-sama wear that weird dress, making Tohru-sama do weird tasks… You sadist!"

First of all, don't use repetition when listing "stuff that I did" (read: stuff that I didn't do). Second of all, who're you callin' a sadist!? Actually, why does a little munchkin such as yourself know such words!?

"Stop making such stupid accusations!" I attempted to derail the little munchkin. Turning to Tohru, I gestured at the younger dragon girl, "Tohru, do something about this!"

"What do you expect me to do?"

"Well first of all (I've been saying that a lot lately), other than coming here to visit you, how in the world did she get here in the first place?" Don't get me wrong, traveling through dimensions is pretty easy once you get the knack of it, or unless you're a cheating little bastard, but for first timers, especially little novice munchkins like Kanna here, will have difficulties even traveling to the correct dimension. Which brings up the question…

"Actually, how _did_ you get here?" I asked, "Dimension crossing is serious business and a pretty hard thing to do especially for someone your age."

I snapped my fingers, "My bet is… you didn't come here on your own. Rather, someone sent you here, right?"

Nobody missed the little munchkin trying to look as small as she could. Tears threatened to fall off her cute eyes and over her peach-like cheeks. Her small mouth biting against each other in an effort to prevent sounds from coming out. Even the fact that the little munchkin looked barely above 10 years old made the shivering even more apparent-… Damn my 18+ narration! Stop sexualizing minors! … Actually, how old is Kanna anyway? To my knowledge, dragons can live pretty long lifespans…

Anyway…

"Uzumaki-san," Tohru hinted at me. Lending her an ear, the dragon maid whispered into my ear, giving me information that actually took me by surprise.

"Punishment for pranking?"

Tohru nodded, "As dragons, it's expected of us to be able to raise ourselves, regardless of which faction. As such, Kanna, like many other younglings, have been on their own since a year after hatching. Especially since she bears the name of Kanna Kamui."

Oh you have gotta be kidding me…

"Of course, like many other younglings, Kanna has done everything to gain the attention of her parents, including playing various pranks. This got her into many trouble in the past," The girl looked actually worried, "However… this is the first time that she's been punished this severely, being sent to another world with no way back…"

I sighed heavily. While being sent to another world as punishment is a new experience, even for me, the fact that being punished because of pranks brought the look of nostalgia into my eyes.

In fact, this brought up the answer to why the girl felt familiar. Overlapping Kanna, came the figures of countless other little boys and girls that I've either sired or taken in who fell into the art of pranking to either gain my attention (as the blood-related, legitimate or adopted father) or the attention of others (whether because of ignorance or even of abandonment). Moreover, the familiar figure of a certain lonely boy who desired the attention of an entire village came into mind. Groaning to myself, as well as to my bleeding heart, I sighed heavily once more.

"Being sent to an unfamiliar world as punishment with no one else to fall back on and nowhere to stay…" I knelt next to the girl, "I can't say that I know how you feel exactly, but I do know what's like to be ignored by everyone… and I'll be damned if I start doing that to someone else."

Kanna sniffed, still trying to show a big front.

"So how about it? Wanna stay here?"

The younger dragon blinked, her eyes shining for a second. Tohru, on the other hand, looked almost worried. "Is it alright to have her here?" She asked.

"Would you rather we throw her into the wild? With humans who don't, or want to for that matter, understand change and things that are different? Who are more prone to attack then ask? You wanna throw her into the pit with them?"

"When you say it like that…"

"'Sides, I'm not actually forcing her to. I'm giving her a choice. If she doesn't take my offer, I'll just leave her at an adoption place or something that'll give her a different choice," After all, I may be cold, but I'm not cruel.

"H-… Humans can't be trusted!" Kanna suddenly blurt out, "Humans are dangerous! They- they're also always plotting something! You- you'll just use me and-!"

I interrupted her as I flicked her on the forehead. "It's fine if you don't trust me. What you say about us humans are true. Nobody, if ever, truly trusts one another right off the bat, and if you said anything else, I would've called you naïve and stupid."

Tohru watched as I continued my lecture, bringing up a hand to ruffle Kanna's hair.

"I'm not saying we should be friends, or that we should trust one another. I'm just askin' if you need a place to stay. That's all."

By this time, Kanna was trembling and crying, as if this was the first time anyone's been nice to her. The poor thing, she's like a puppy who's been kicked around one too many times.

"C'mon, while you got a human living here, you still got Tohru here, right? So how about it? Wanna stay here?"

Instead of answering, Kanna leaped up and clung her arms around me, shivering heavily and crying her eyes out. Despite not letting out a sound, I sighed and smiled, allowing the girl to use my shoulder.

"Welcome to the world of humans, Kanna…" I murmured as Tohru looked on with a smile on her face, the two of us welcoming the little dragon girl into the household.

* * *

A/N:

Let me make it perfectly clear that I've had trouble and a lot of internal debate on whether or not I should really post this chapter or not... The reason? Come on, a lot of you Dragon Maid fans should know how Kobayashi invites Kanna to her household... and see how similar it is to Naruto in my fic do it to Kanna. It's too similar, and seeing how much of you people complained about my previous chapters, I grew worrisome that the same would happen to this chapter as well.

Which is partially the reason why I've updated to late with this chapter. The other reason are classes consuming so much of my time that I've barely had time to put into my fics.

I digress. I love this chapter (and all my other chapters and fics) but that doesn't make me any less worried about how my audience will react. Especially to such a popular character like Kanna-chan.

In any case, I've posted it. It's been done. Whatever repercussions happen, I'll just deal with them when they come (or not) and most likely ignore them.

To the fans that Liked, Favorited, Followed, Reviewed this story and chapter: thank you for your support. Wouldn't have uploaded this chapter if it weren't for you guys.

That's all for now. I'll see y'all next chapter! Here's a hint:

Pranks.

Pranks everywhere.

* * *

Disclaimer: Any written product on this fanfiction is entirely fictional and fan-made. The author of this fanfiction does not claim ownership, whether total or partial, over any franchise or series, any characters, locations, terms or any elements of their respective franchise or series.


	9. A1 C9: Pranking Time!

Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

* * *

Chapter Nine: Pranking Time (This Means War!)

* * *

The days that followed Kanna's introduction to the human world had been pretty bland. Turns out, whatever Tohru used to power up her attacks and stay healthy was pretty scarce in this world and left Kanna feeling weaker than usual.

As a man who forced himself to train in medicine and the likes, Naruto was worried about that fact, but after Tohru mentions that while mana (the energy that dragons apparently uses) is scarce, it isn't fatal nor is it life threatening to any of the dragons. While that didn't serve to ease Naruto's worries, it did offer some peace and quiet compared to Tohru's usual antics and fire.

However, what Naruto doesn't know was that despite what he learned about being a danger magnet…

There are still others who were plenty of trouble makers themselves.

* * *

With a yawn, Naruto stretches and smacks his lips. Reaching his personal bathroom, the blonde reaches for his toothbrush. Noticing that it was more hairy than before, Naruto simply dismissed it and continued to brush his teeth with the unknown hairy object.

Halfway through brushing his teeth, the immortal blonde stopped. Slowly taking the "toothbrush" out of his mouth, he stared at it only to find a dead rat in its place.

Several periods went over his head as he tried to mull over the fact of what just happened.

"BLEGH!"

And with a barf, Naruto immediately spat out the frothed toothpaste and whatever hairy substance that was left in his mouth and began to rinse the inside. Immediately throwing the dead rat out the window for any stray cats to feed upon, Naruto gargled up some acid in his mouth and began to gurgle. Going back to the window, Naruto slowly poured his acid over the dead rat and watched with slight satisfaction and with slight disgust as the body began to melt.

Not willing to stay and watch it till the end, Naruto, now free of the fur and smell from his mouth, went to open his closet and get ready for the day.

Upon opening the door, the blonde shocked to see a wide variety of maid outfits having seemingly replaced all his clothes. Opening the drawer, Naruto dropped a sweat as even his socks and underwear have been replaced with lingerie and stockings and the like.

Closing his closet, the blonde sighed.

 _"Gee, I wonder who did this…"_ He sarcastically thought, having already figured out the culprit. Now to find the proof and exploit her.

* * *

"Tohru, how many times do I have to say this? Quit puttin' yo' tail 'n ma food…!"

"Ehh!? But it's delicious…"

"I'm not even gonna give an answer to that…" Naruto breathed out as he took a bite at his toast. Next to him, Kanna, a recent addition to his household, was exploring the bowl of cereal that simply intrigued her.

Every now and then, however, the girl would take a peek at Naruto before quickly looking back to play with her food. As the male blonde reached for his glass of milk, Kanna's blue eyes twinkled in delight and watched in silence as Naruto took a drink.

Only to spit it back out as the milk had somehow soured and spoiled.

"Tohru, I thought you switched the milk?"

The dragon maid blinked, "Huh? I did…"

"Well…" Turning the cup upside down, Naruto watched as the milk slid slowly off the glass and onto the table, looking very much like mushed cheese. "Unless one of us has the power over time, then something went bad…"

"That's odd…" Tohru wondered, taking a look in the refrigerator to reveal a fresh and delicious milk inside. "The milk here is still fresh…"

Looking to the side and onto the floor, Naruto noticed an old carton of milk that has gone bad. Pointing at it, he comments, "I'm pretty sure we threw that away, didn't we?"

Tohru nodded, "We did. I made sure to place it in the trash for plastics…"

As Naruto hummed at the thought, Kanna picked up her glass of water and began to drink. A gulp later, the little dragon coughed and spit took with the glass still in her mouth.

"Kanna!?" Tohru shocked as she went to grab a towel.

"Salty…" Kanna moaned at the lost chance to drink fresh water.

"Salty, huh? That has to suck."

Kanna blinked as Naruto spoke up. She turned to see Naruto, with his eyes shaded, leaning against the wall. "Sucks about as much as my toothbrush being replaced with a dead rat and all my clothes being replaced with maid clothes…"

"Uzumaki, you…!"

It was then and there that Kanna realized, Naruto was a fellow prankster!

As Naruto smirked, Kanna gulped her saliva and hardened her eyes. For the time has come… It is now time for…

A Prank War!

 _"What are they doing?"_ Tohru wondered as she looked at Naruto and Kanna staring at each, with what looked like lightning coming out of their eyes and clashing midair. Smiling, the girl shrugged, _"At least they seem to be getting along!"_

Oh Tohru, you poor, poor soul.

* * *

The next day, Naruto twitched an eye as he glared at the shower head that refused to pour water. Of course, it was sort of obvious seeing the cloud of cotton balls taped onto the shower head in order to clog it. Sighing, the blonde simply created a miniature rain cloud to wash himself.

 _"Ain't the first time I was denied of showering, but that doesn't mean I like it…"_ He thought as he washed himself. _"In any case, it's still not up to the standards of the International Association of Pranking Codes and Conducts' (shortened to INAP2C) Body of Standards. If that little Munchkin wants my approval in the art of pranking, then she better up her game."_

In the living room, Kanna struggled to reach for her charm beads that were hanged onto the wall. Even while jumping, she still had trouble reaching for her precious beads that her mother gave her. Glaring at her beads, Kanna grabbed one of the chairs from the dining table and set it below the hanged beads.

"Kanna?" Tohru asked, seeing her fellow dragon try to reach for her hair beads that were hanging on the wall. Reaching over to grab the beads for Kanna, Tohru was shocked to see the beads suddenly move higher, now far beyond _her_ reach.

"What… what sorcery is this…?" Tohru wondered, now suspicious of the mysterious phenomenal that was happening.

 _"This is the work of Uzumaki…!"_ Kanna muttered to herself, _"I just know it is!"_

* * *

Yawning, Naruto closed the door and dropped his bag on the floor, thanking Tohru for the hot cup of water. "Aw man… after centuries of being around and they still can't figure out how to deal with paper work… blasted things, if only I could freely use the [Kage Bunshin], it woulda been a breeze…"

 _"[Kage Bunshin]…? What's that?"_ Tohru wondered to herself, mentally translating it to her mother language. _"I wonder if that means that Uzumaki-san can clone himself?"_

Cracking his neck, Naruto went to sit at the dining table, pulling the chair back and backing up to sit on it to re- "WAH!"

"Uzumaki-san!?" Tohru cried out, rushing towards her fellow blond to find him on the floor next to a chair that has its legs unscrewed. "How…?"

"How is the right question, but not important at the moment, Tohru…" Naruto mumbled as he grabbed the empty cup from his head. Muttering how hot the water was, he continued, "Rather, can you get me a towel?"

"Ah, right away!"

Sighing to himself, Naruto gazed up at Kanna who was staring at him from her spot at the dining table. "Bet you're having a blast, eh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," The little girl feigned ignorance.

 _"INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 2: Never admit your work, a Prankster is always a shadow and never noticed. At least she knows the rules to pranking…"_ Naruto muttered as he took the towel from his maid, watching as Kanna took her own drink.

"PFFFTT!"

"Eh- Kanna!?" Tohru shocked to see Kanna spit take her water.

Pouring water back into her cup from her mouth, Kanna moaned at the lost chance of fresh water. "Bitter…"

A good prank, according to INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 4, are allowed to be repeated, and as such, Naruto smirked as Kanna wiped the water off her face. Tohru, in the meantime, was confused as to why all these odd events were happening around both Naruto and Kanna. Although, most of the circumstances do feel familiar…

* * *

"She's pretty good at this…" Naruto hummed to himself, staring at his bed from where he was stuck on. Pulling his right arm, Naruto ignored the number of nails that were nailing him onto the ceiling as he scratched his head, "Ok, not good… more like she's improving. That's good, that's good… All these pranking has made her powerful."

The small parody reference he made wasn't lost to him, of course, but that didn't matter. What matters was that over the course of a week, both he and Kanna had had a pranking war, and while there hasn't been any real casualties, as per the INAP2C's Body of Standards, both of their dignities have taken the blows.

Of course, Naruto left his dignity a long time ago, but that's beside the point.

"Aaah…" Tohru hummed out in realization, her hands on her hip as she stared at Kanna sleeping, tied from neck to toe and hanging upside down. "Kanna's been pranking Uzumaki-san, huh? Although… does that mean that Uzumaki-san also pranks as well?"

"Do I what?" Naruto asked, exiting his room to get rid of his now torn and ruined pajamas. Humming as he threw away his clothes, Naruto reached up to fix his tie.

"Uzumaki-san, do you prank?"

Naruto nodded, "Yep. It's something I've done as a kid, so it's been years since I've last pranked," He replied. "Of course, that doesn't mean that I've lost my touch, seeing that I'm actually one of the chair members of an association for the delicate art of pranking."

 _"There's a gathering for humans who prank?"_ Tohru thought to herself. _"Uzumaki-san is a chair member of that same gathering? How odd…"_ The dragon girl then deadpanned, _"Then again, there was that one time with Elma…"_

As Tohru mulled over her rival, Naruto tapped onto Kanna's forehead. Waking up, the little dragon was shocked to find herself dangling upside down with her archrival standing in front of her.

"Uzumaki."

"Mornin' Munchkin," Naruto ignored the glare that Kanna was giving her. Yawning again, he mumbled, "Hey, it's been fun with this pranking war we've been having, but how 'bout a truce for now?"

"Denied."

"C'mon. It's been about a week since we started. Should be enough time to call a time out on this?"

"No."

"I'll treat ya to anything you want."

Drool dropped down from Kanna's mouth as she hesitated. She hesitated so much that it hurts just looking at it. But she shall stand strong! At least until she can beat that Uzumaki first!

"N… N-no!"

 _"INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 6: Accept no bribery…"_ Naruto mulled with amusement. "Alright, bribery's out of the way… what about Tohru?"

At the mention of her name, Tohru looked at Naruto, "Yes?"

"Don't worry about it, Tohru. Go make breakfast, we'll be with you in a moment."

"If you say so, Uzumaki-sama!"

"And no dragon tail meat."

"Awwww…"

As Tohru dejectedly retreated to the kitchen, Kanna narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean about Tohru-sama?"

Naruto scratched his head, "Look, we both know just how far we can take this pranking war. The problem isn't with the method or even with the budget of each pranks – since I can pay for all of it – no, the problem I'm talking about is collateral damage."

"Collateral… damage…?"

"Namely, and this is hypothetical and theoretical, but still a possibility all the same… what if, what if, and I'm saying it a third time so that you actually pay attention, what _if_ Tohru accidentally trips one of our more… dangerous… pranks…?"

"!?" Kanna shocked.

"INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 1: Under no circumstances shall there be any collateral damage or injuries of any kind to any innocents or to any personals who are not the intended victims of any pranks," Naruto firmly recited. "I don't know if you dragons have any sort of rules and/or regulations about pranking, but here, we have such rules and regulations. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Kanna repeated, "I want to beat you. But I don't want to hurt Tohru-sama."

 _"INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 3: Never, ever, give up on beating your victim, should they be competent enough to not trigger a prank, or be fellow pranksters during a Pranking War,"_ Naruto thought to himself as he stared at the little dragon. _"She's got good eyes…"_

"Alright then. In that case, a truce?"

"Truce."

"Then let's shake on it," Naruto quipped, holding his hand out for a shake before blinking. "Ah."

"Please untie me, Uzumaki."

"Right, sorry about that… completely forgot you were tied upside-down to the ceiling…"

* * *

A/N:

I don't know if any of you guys know this, but Author's Note, or A/N for short, are very important notes of information left behind by the authors of fanfics, should they wish to leave any. That means that there are very important notes of information within those very A/N's.

Now to those who don't take the time to read A/N's, I don't know your reasons for not reading them, but you really should try to at least give the effort. Many people won't read fanfics simply because to them it's a hassle to read and easier to just see (which is the same, no matter what, which is why I'm confused as to why they won't try reading... but I digress). Taking the time to read A/N's won't end your life nor Earth-chan's.

I won't speak for the other authors, but I will be thankful if you will take the time to read A/N's. You might never know if there will be important notes of information, after all.

In any case, this is the ninth chapter and perhaps the final chapter of the year. So please look forward to Chapter Ten! It'll be something that I will be doing for every 10 chapters and will help you understand the Naruto of this fanfic universe!

Look forward to it!


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